It looks like I can break that thing over my knee. I don’t want some pussy, miniature, girly console; I need a man’s console. I need a system that weighs 50 pounds, and uses more power than an air conditioner. If you want a man’s console, get an Xbox. It’s the SUV of the videogame world.
X-box Live (better than a telephone, no long distance charges)
Karaoke Machine (Music Mixer)
Bullet Proof Vest
Real Gym Weights (if you have 2 xboxes, apply to each side of barbell)
Hair Dryer (the fan in the back does wonders)
I’m sure it makes French Fries… with the cooking kit.