Thoughts from our buddy George Carlin…

Home Forums Bullshit with The Billy Goat Thoughts from our buddy George Carlin…

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    • #2130
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

      2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
      it considered a hostage situation?

      3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they
      still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

      4. What’s another word for synonym?

      5. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

      6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

      7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
      thrown away?

      8. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

      9. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

      10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

      11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is
      eating an endangered plant?

      12. Is it possible to be totally partial?

      13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

      14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

      15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
      will clean them?

      16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
      headlights off?

      17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

      18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is
      he still wrong?

      19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

      20. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

      21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

      22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
      remain silent?

      23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

      24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

    • #9652
      ShiznitBeast
      Member

      @BillyGoatScruff wrote:

      2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
      it considered a hostage situation?

      lol… DASSA GUDE ONE!

    • #9655
      Ranman311
      Moderator

      george carlin = r0oLz

    • #9660
      Trienish
      Participant

      George Carlin is all well and good, but I think I would have liked it better if you had posted Jeff Foxworthy’s “You just might be a redneck” jokes.

    • #9666
      ShiznitBeast
      Member

      Everyone has heard those jokes a million times. At least George Carlin’s material is diverse.

    • #9667
      Yaeger
      Participant

      to avoid post-whoring and false gman points,

      http://www.frontiernet.net/~tzuleger/webjokes/red/rednecks.shtml

    • #9669
      Trienish
      Participant

      I’ve heard a few of those before too…

    • #9674
      jfmangano
      Moderator

      Why don’t you cry about it?

    • #9677
      Gman
      Keymaster

      Saddlebags!

    • #9680
      Trienish
      Participant

      @Weirfan66 wrote:

      Why don’t you cry about it?

      That came out of no where….

    • #9688
      ShiznitBeast
      Member

      You may have heard a few of those… but my point was that George Carlin doesn’t stick to the same old format with his jokes. Not to mention the redneck jokes get pretty old pretty quick.

    • #9695
      Yaeger
      Participant

      redneck words are funnier

      widja-didja:

      You didn’t bring a pen widja-didja?

      initiate:

      My mom ate a hamburger, initiate a bag of chips

      aorta:

      They hired him but aorta gotten someone else

    • #9697
      ShiznitBeast
      Member

      Would everyone just stop making fun of my kind! Jeez, you guys can’t take a hint… THIS HURTS!!

    • #9706
      Trienish
      Participant

      Why don’t you cry about it?

    • #9708
      Yaeger
      Participant

      everyone is a redneck in one way or another

    • #9711
      Trienish
      Participant

      It’s okay though, as long as you don’t live in the South.

    • #9714
      jfmangano
      Moderator

      Stupid South…refusing to recognize they got owned in the Civil War. That’s like a Bostonian denying that ball ever got past Bill Buckner.

    • #9718
      squiergfx
      Member

      hoowah!

    • #9736
      UltimaLink
      Member

      It would be entertaining if you had actually typed and made this all yourself, but unfortunatly you stole it from…
      http://ebaumsworld.com/lquestions.shtml

    • #9737
      UltimaLink
      Member

      either partly from that page or some other site but its definitly stolen

    • #9758
      Yaeger
      Participant

      look at the topic name, it doesn’t say “Thoughts that i came up with and didn’t steal from ebaumsworld”

    • #9774
      Gman
      Keymaster

      ……….. OWNED! :shock:

    • #9780
      Trienish
      Participant

      At least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!

    • #9782
      Yaeger
      Participant

      indeed

    • #9787
      Gman
      Keymaster

      @Trienish wrote:

      At least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!

      WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!?!??!!

      CERTAINLY NOT….

    • #9817
      ShiznitBeast
      Member

      Link… he comes to town! He comes to PLAGIARIZE his ass off!

    • #9827
      Trienish
      Participant

      He can’t write, he can’t talk…he’s a very depressing Hero of Time.

    • #9837
      Gman
      Keymaster

      I created a picture for the occassion…

    • #9843
      Trienish
      Participant

      It looks like a child drew all the characters in Wind Waker.

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