Thoughts from our buddy George Carlin…

Home Forums Bullshit with The Billy Goat Thoughts from our buddy George Carlin…

This topic contains 27 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 15 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #2130

    Anonymous

    1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
    it considered a hostage situation?

    3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they
    still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

    4. What’s another word for synonym?

    5. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

    6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

    7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
    thrown away?

    8. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

    9. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

    10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

    11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is
    eating an endangered plant?

    12. Is it possible to be totally partial?

    13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

    15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
    will clean them?

    16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
    headlights off?

    17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

    18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is
    he still wrong?

    19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

    20. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

    21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
    remain silent?

    23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

  • #9652

    ShiznitBeast
    Member

    @BillyGoatScruff wrote:

    2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
    it considered a hostage situation?

    lol… DASSA GUDE ONE!

  • #9655

    Ranman311
    Moderator

    george carlin = r0oLz

  • #9660

    Trienish
    Participant

    George Carlin is all well and good, but I think I would have liked it better if you had posted Jeff Foxworthy’s “You just might be a redneck” jokes.

  • #9666

    ShiznitBeast
    Member

    Everyone has heard those jokes a million times. At least George Carlin’s material is diverse.

  • #9667

    Yaeger
    Participant

    to avoid post-whoring and false gman points,

    http://www.frontiernet.net/~tzuleger/webjokes/red/rednecks.shtml

  • #9669

    Trienish
    Participant

    I’ve heard a few of those before too…

  • #9674

    jfmangano
    Moderator

    Why don’t you cry about it?

  • #9677

    Gman
    Keymaster

    Saddlebags!

  • #9680

    Trienish
    Participant

    @Weirfan66 wrote:

    Why don’t you cry about it?

    That came out of no where….

  • #9688

    ShiznitBeast
    Member

    You may have heard a few of those… but my point was that George Carlin doesn’t stick to the same old format with his jokes. Not to mention the redneck jokes get pretty old pretty quick.

  • #9695

    Yaeger
    Participant

    redneck words are funnier

    widja-didja:

    You didn’t bring a pen widja-didja?

    initiate:

    My mom ate a hamburger, initiate a bag of chips

    aorta:

    They hired him but aorta gotten someone else

  • #9697

    ShiznitBeast
    Member

    Would everyone just stop making fun of my kind! Jeez, you guys can’t take a hint… THIS HURTS!!

  • #9706

    Trienish
    Participant

    Why don’t you cry about it?

  • #9708

    Yaeger
    Participant

    everyone is a redneck in one way or another

  • #9711

    Trienish
    Participant

    It’s okay though, as long as you don’t live in the South.

  • #9714

    jfmangano
    Moderator

    Stupid South…refusing to recognize they got owned in the Civil War. That’s like a Bostonian denying that ball ever got past Bill Buckner.

  • #9718

    squiergfx
    Member

    hoowah!

  • #9736

    UltimaLink
    Member

    It would be entertaining if you had actually typed and made this all yourself, but unfortunatly you stole it from…
    http://ebaumsworld.com/lquestions.shtml

  • #9737

    UltimaLink
    Member

    either partly from that page or some other site but its definitly stolen

  • #9758

    Yaeger
    Participant

    look at the topic name, it doesn’t say “Thoughts that i came up with and didn’t steal from ebaumsworld”

  • #9774

    Gman
    Keymaster

    ……….. OWNED! :shock:

  • #9780

    Trienish
    Participant

    At least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!

  • #9782

    Yaeger
    Participant

    indeed

  • #9787

    Gman
    Keymaster

    @trienish wrote:

    At least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!

    WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!?!??!!

    CERTAINLY NOT….

  • #9817

    ShiznitBeast
    Member

    Link… he comes to town! He comes to PLAGIARIZE his ass off!

  • #9827

    Trienish
    Participant

    He can’t write, he can’t talk…he’s a very depressing Hero of Time.

  • #9837

    Gman
    Keymaster

    I created a picture for the occassion…

  • #9843

    Trienish
    Participant

    It looks like a child drew all the characters in Wind Waker.

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