Home › Forums › Bullshit with The Billy Goat › Thoughts from our buddy George Carlin…
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February 4, 2004 at 12:12 am #2130
Anonymous
Inactive1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they
still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?4. What’s another word for synonym?
5. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
thrown away?8. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
9. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
10. Why do they report power outages on TV?
11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is
eating an endangered plant?12. Is it possible to be totally partial?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
headlights off?17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is
he still wrong?19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
20. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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February 4, 2004 at 12:35 am #9652
ShiznitBeast
Member@BillyGoatScruff wrote:
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?lol… DASSA GUDE ONE!
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February 4, 2004 at 12:57 am #9655
Ranman311
Moderatorgeorge carlin = r0oLz
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February 4, 2004 at 1:11 am #9660
Trienish
ParticipantGeorge Carlin is all well and good, but I think I would have liked it better if you had posted Jeff Foxworthy’s “You just might be a redneck” jokes.
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February 4, 2004 at 1:32 am #9666
ShiznitBeast
MemberEveryone has heard those jokes a million times. At least George Carlin’s material is diverse.
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February 4, 2004 at 1:34 am #9667
Yaeger
Participantto avoid post-whoring and false gman points,
http://www.frontiernet.net/~tzuleger/webjokes/red/rednecks.shtml
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February 4, 2004 at 1:58 am #9669
Trienish
ParticipantI’ve heard a few of those before too…
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February 4, 2004 at 2:51 am #9674
jfmangano
ModeratorWhy don’t you cry about it?
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February 4, 2004 at 2:52 am #9677
Gman
KeymasterSaddlebags!
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February 4, 2004 at 3:06 am #9680
Trienish
Participant@Weirfan66 wrote:
Why don’t you cry about it?
That came out of no where….
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February 4, 2004 at 3:34 am #9688
ShiznitBeast
MemberYou may have heard a few of those… but my point was that George Carlin doesn’t stick to the same old format with his jokes. Not to mention the redneck jokes get pretty old pretty quick.
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February 4, 2004 at 3:46 am #9695
Yaeger
Participantredneck words are funnier
widja-didja:
You didn’t bring a pen widja-didja?
initiate:
My mom ate a hamburger, initiate a bag of chips
aorta:
They hired him but aorta gotten someone else
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February 4, 2004 at 3:49 am #9697
ShiznitBeast
MemberWould everyone just stop making fun of my kind! Jeez, you guys can’t take a hint… THIS HURTS!!
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February 4, 2004 at 4:58 am #9706
Trienish
ParticipantWhy don’t you cry about it?
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February 4, 2004 at 5:01 am #9708
Yaeger
Participanteveryone is a redneck in one way or another
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February 4, 2004 at 5:03 am #9711
Trienish
ParticipantIt’s okay though, as long as you don’t live in the South.
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February 4, 2004 at 1:56 pm #9714
jfmangano
ModeratorStupid South…refusing to recognize they got owned in the Civil War. That’s like a Bostonian denying that ball ever got past Bill Buckner.
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February 4, 2004 at 2:22 pm #9718
squiergfx
Memberhoowah!
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February 4, 2004 at 7:55 pm #9736
UltimaLink
MemberIt would be entertaining if you had actually typed and made this all yourself, but unfortunatly you stole it from…
http://ebaumsworld.com/lquestions.shtml -
February 4, 2004 at 7:55 pm #9737
UltimaLink
Membereither partly from that page or some other site but its definitly stolen
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February 4, 2004 at 8:38 pm #9758
Yaeger
Participantlook at the topic name, it doesn’t say “Thoughts that i came up with and didn’t steal from ebaumsworld”
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February 4, 2004 at 8:54 pm #9774
Gman
Keymaster……….. OWNED! :shock:
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February 4, 2004 at 8:58 pm #9780
Trienish
ParticipantAt least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!
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February 4, 2004 at 8:59 pm #9782
Yaeger
Participantindeed
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February 4, 2004 at 9:04 pm #9787
Gman
Keymaster@Trienish wrote:
At least Billy didn’t say that he made the quotes. Would you believe that there are people out there would would claim to write things, take for example a review of an old video game, that were simply copied parts of various other reviews pasted together. What a world!
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!?!??!!
CERTAINLY NOT….
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February 5, 2004 at 12:31 am #9817
ShiznitBeast
MemberLink… he comes to town! He comes to PLAGIARIZE his ass off!
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February 5, 2004 at 1:08 am #9827
Trienish
ParticipantHe can’t write, he can’t talk…he’s a very depressing Hero of Time.
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February 5, 2004 at 1:28 am #9837
Gman
KeymasterI created a picture for the occassion…
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February 5, 2004 at 1:31 am #9843
Trienish
ParticipantIt looks like a child drew all the characters in Wind Waker.
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